On the surface, it's not so bad. I have a horrible memory to begin with and I haven't seen him in years. Deep down in my daddy's-girl heart, I've never forgotten his birthday before and it makes me wonder if he's ever forgotten about me. Or, if he feels blinding regret for leaving his wife and children while he philandered. Or, if I've punished him enough in my own special way. Or, if the only punishment is on me, like a bad joke someone tells a group but no one laughs, not even a polite smile. Yeah, feels kinda like that.
Most men have their ways of weaving in and out of my life. I just want someone to love with such ferocity and intensity that they either love me back or die trying to escape me. It's been harder than I thought it would be.
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